Holiday Blues Justified

Thank GOD we're starting a New Year. I hate to be negative and end the year like this, but it's hard to enjoy the Holiday Season when all your doing is disappointing people.

I know this is possibly the worst thing I could be doing (posting), but at this point, I don't EFFING care anymore! I have had this feeling eating at me for a few days now, and I need to take my frustration out on my key board, 'cause the computer won't accuse me of being crazy. You see, If you voice your opinion out loud, you are crazy. Or didn't everyone know that?

It is very hard to feel happy when you're being "strong armed" to conform. Then, when you don't comply with the majority, a wet blanket of guilt is thrown over you. The last time I checked, I didn't join the military. This is a free country too right?

No matter what, we are always made to feel as though we're a burden. We're told that everything is for us, and we NEVER give enough back. It hurts! I grew up with that feeling my whole life. Nothing was ever enough for my Dad, and he was very quick to let us know. I always was the peace maker, and the people pleaser. It used to make me feel better, when my actions were recognized. After a while, if you always miss your target, you run out of arrows. YES, I do have issues with my childhood. I'll be the first to admit it. It's a good thing my mom was the buffer.

I made a promise to myself for the Holiday's (two posts ago), and until a few days ago, I lived up to it. I know now I must make more promises to myself. Let's call them my resolutions:

I will be happy with who I am, not who I make happy.
I will not ever fall victim to peer pressure again.
I stand for my beliefs, no matter who or what tries to get in my way.
I can't always change how people feel ,because, sometimes it's their problem.

It's more like a High School peer group mission statement, then again, I guess some never evolve past grade 12. Maybe I haven't either. I think it's time to bury "Al Bundy".

Happy New Year!