The Lioness Roars

here we go!

i am, again, struggling with SOCIETY! actually, i think my husband is the one struggling with them and i'm the one counter- acting against him.

here is the story.
my precious little babies are not walking yet. BIG EFFING DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! they are going to be 14 months old, and they have been (according to the stupid books) hitting their physical milestones late by two months.
i have closed my books A LONG time ago, but it's the PEOPLE out there who REMIND us that they might be "behind". two people last week couldn't get over the fact that they are so "tiny". three people this week have referred to my children as "lazy". we were also told that our daughter is smarter than her brother because she is more driven to walk. lastly, i'm sick of the condescending, "oh, it's o.k. they were early right?".

first of all, my books are not the problem. i read as much as i can and take what i want from them. the right books give a range of milestones, and are sure to tell you that every child is different.

what baby is lazy??? babies are always busy. my kids never stop moving, talking, playing. no, my son is not the most agile 14 month old, but neither was i. i think i was about 16 months old when i finally started walking, and i'm not horribly challenged (alright, maybe mathematically). why would a girl walking before a boy mean he is not smart, or that she is smarter than he is??

oh, and for the record, 36 1/2 weeks gestation is not really early for a twin pregnancy, or for a singleton pregnancy for that matter. my children are fine!!! neither the pediatrician or i, are concerned about their development. i think daddy is the one who is really worried that his kids are...slow, or a wussy, or heaven forbid, turn out like him (his words).
when people call my kids "bad", or "lazy" the claws come out! look, i'm not the type of mom who won't own up to her kids bad behavior, don't get me wrong. i encourage you people to call my kids out on the wrong things they might do. i don't want V and A to go around thinking they can do or say whatever they want and only mom or dad will reprimand them. i do , however, think the correction has to be warranted. dropping food on the floor doesn't make a 14 month old a "bad girl", and not walking doesn't make a 14 month old "lazy".

unfortunately, we live in a world of percentiles, labels and over achievers. the little league dads and soccer moms cursing from the sidelines when their child's team loses. or, grounding their son because he didn't get straight A's on his spelling tests. what the hell are we teaching them?? that, if they are not up to par, they're "lazy". we wonder why so many kids get depressed, have anxiety, and pull out their own eyelashes. we do it to them! so, i have to protect my kids. i want them to feel good about who they are, and concentrate on the things they do well. it's harder to forget a negative than remember a positive. the old "sticks and stones" saying, is not true. words can crush a delicate self esteem, and name calling definitely does hurt. i'm not going to be polite anymore. the next time i feel my children are subject to name calling, i will attack!!

i have been called names, we all have. i once had a teacher tell me, in anger, that i would never make it to the next grade. to a 9 year old, it means "your stupid". my husband calls himself stupid almost everyday, and it breaks my heart to know why he thinks so.

i'm sure one of you can remember something someone has said to you as a child that will be with you forever.

Cleanliness is Godliness

i do not consider myself to be a clean freak by any sense of the word (trust me, i know of people who are psychotic about cleaning), but upon discussion with my friends a while back, i realized my idiosyncrasies are not uncommon. in fact, many others share the VERY same quirks.

everyone has a way of functioning in they're own home, or even at the work place. here is a list of my O.C.D. tendencies.

TOTAL MELT DOWN: when my dishwasher is loaded the wrong way, or towels folded incorrectly. yes, this is a big deal to me!!!!

Cooking: i need to clean as i cook. i put everything away as i am preparing food. i can not have a counter top cluttered with culinary paraphernalia. this makes post dinnertime cleanup much easier.

Put IT Away!!! : if your finished with the news paper, fold it back up and bring it to the recycling bin, do not leave it scattered on the dining room table, counter top, or around the toilet. no one will take interest in it and decide to read it. when you're finished making PB&J, but the bread in the pantry, screw the lids back onto the jars and place back into the fridge or lazy suzan. for god's sake, clean off the knife before throwing it into the sink...lead to next topic.

Clean it off: i need to wipe off all excess spreads off my knife either onto the bread or paper towel before i use it for something else ( PB&J, i don't like crumbs, or jelly floating around in the peanut butter jar...Gaggging) i have the need to clean my plate. it's not that i over eat, i serve myself a small helping, but need to scrape or sop up everything. it kills me to see hunks of tomato, or that last few grains of rice on rick's plate. he has the opposite philosophy, and needs to leave something on his plate. when i feed my kids, i use that rubber spoon to remove all bits of anything from that bowl.
my kitchen sink needs be clean all the time. i hate, hate, HATE food left spattered on the sides, coffee stains, even soap bubbles on the bottom. i even have a special rotating tooth brush i use to buzz off an kind of build up on the faucet. my sink also has a "clean side" and a dirty side". i know not everyone knows this, but it really bothers me when people put dirty stuff in the "clean side".

well, that's really it. I could go into other habits and rituals, but the 4 highlighted, are the most important. i am a bit un-organized, or less tidy in other areas. maybe if i put less energy into these 4, and more into others, my desk wouldn't be as cluttered, my closet wouldn't have piles of shoes in them...the light just went off in my head.

what the hell am i doing??? i gotta go organize my closets.

My 1st 5k

I did it!!! I am so proud of myself. I have never run in a race, well, since I was a kid anyway. I just wish I had participated in some 2 years ago when I was running 15 miles a week and 115 lbs. I would have been awesome. I figure that today I ran really well, and I'll only get better. I really didn't prepare much, and I think this will give me good motivation to kick my own ass again. I really loved the competition aspect of it. Here you are, passing other people, and it makes you feel good. When those you've passed, come up on your heals, it pushes you to move more. I was smart about it tho'. I think I paced myself well, and as I approached the finish line, I just bit the bullet, and sprinted with hopes I wouldn't trip and get some serious road rash. So, my time was 30:51. YEAH!!! I don't remember running 3.1 miles that fast...well in high school ( yes, here comes Al Bundy), when i did a 1/2 triathlon. The 5 mile run was at the end, and after biking 10 miles, swimming 1 mile, I still ran under 10 minute mile. All in 90 degrees. Ah yes, my glory days. To be 16 again.
Anyhow, I plan to run at least 2 more, and better my time. Until then, I have to get back in the groove.